Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

Keeping Me Humble

By 10 Comments

Recently I have been having some really great sessions with my coach, where we are clearing out a lot of old “stuff” in my life and making room for new stuff to come in. I’ve been pretty excited about all the progress I’m making, and so one night I described in grand detail to my husband how I’ve reached this fabulous new mental and emotional place from which to launch the next phase of my life.

Ha.

Apparently what really happened was that cleaning out all of that inner, mental space means that now I just have more time and energy to spend obsessing about the fact that there is something growing on the top of my head. This means that we have been having a lot of conversations like this:

My husband: “So, what do you want to do for dinner?”

Me (hysterically): “I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A HEAD MOLE!”

I also got my permanent crown last week, which means that when I’m not freaking out over the Foreign Body Protruding From My Scalp I’m walking around the house announcing things like, “My fake tooth feels so shiny and smooth!”

Not surprisingly, things around here are going a little more slowly (I have a head mole!) than I had anticipated (And a fake tooth!) as I figure out a new strategy (My fake tooth, it is so smooth!) for dealing with this new level (Now all my other teeth feel so sharp and pointy!) of crazy-ass, monkey-mind chatter (Maybe I’m part wolf!)

Seriously, my mind? One scary place.

True Confessions

By Leave a Comment

Each year as fall rolls around I find myself becoming very quiet and reflective. I think it’s a combination of the beginning of a new school year, as well as the fact that my birthday occurs in the fall. These two events seem to invite reflection on the past year, as well as a sort of mental de-cluttering in preparation for the year to come.

My coach told me something this week that rang very true for me. She said that our 20’s are all about accumulating mental and emotional baggage, and our 30’s are all about going through our bags and deciding what to throw away, and what to keep. I realized as I was “lightening my load”, that I have been spending a great deal of energy trying to pretend that certain things about myself were not true, when this energy really could be better used elsewhere. So in hopes that “the truth really shall set me free”, I offer here the following naked truths about me.

1. I have lived in either Virginia, North Carolina, or Georgia for my whole life and I do not like iced tea.

2. If I order Coke in a restaurant it is not OK if you bring me Pepsi instead.

3. I am 32 years old, and if I don’t want to sleep outside in a tent, then by golly I don’t have to.

4. There is a chance that I might be a crazy cat lady.

5. Despite all the advances in technology, nothing will ever impress or entertain me more than Ms. Pac Man.

6. My husband is a way better cook than I will ever be, and that’s actually a relief.

7. The very first thing I do whenever I get a new book or magazine is to smell it, even if I’m out in public or around other people; I just can’t help it.

8. Pantyhose are evil and you cannot, under any circumstances, make me wear them, so don’t even try.

9. My mother is a math teacher, my father is a CPA, my brother is a chemist, and I cannot do simple arithmetic without using my fingers.

10. Deep down in my soul I don’t actually believe it’s possible for planes to fly.

OK, you can uncover your eyes now; the scary part’s over. And now that the truth is out there, here’s to a great new year.