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Yesterday we were invited to attend our neighbor’s 50th birthday party which we were looking forward to, because we really like the people who live around us. And of course, any interaction with other people means there’s potential for some good blog fodder. And yesterday was no exception. So here are some of the highlights.

1. Oddest Method Attempted By A Random Partygoer To Try-And Ultimately, Fail-To Impress Me And My Husband

“Yeah, it’s always like that whenever I eat at a restaurant run by the mob.”

2. Meanest Thing Said To Me

(Not surprisingly, #1 and #2 were uttered by the same person.)

Have you ever met one of those people who only ask you questions as a way to talk more about themselves? And who ask their questions in an interrogating, attacking tone just slightly less aggressive than that of Torquemada and The Spanish Inquisition? Someone whose own glory days are clearly w-a-y behind them, but who tries desperately to hold onto them by asking you personal questions solely for the purpose of discounting each and every single thing about you?

Yeah, me too.

My husband and I somehow became involved in a conversation with this person, but he soon wised up and announced that he was going to check out the food, heartlessly sacrificing me to the raging fires of one-upmanship, leaving me to carry on our part of the conversation all alone.

“So, Jenny,” inquired our fellow party guest, “do you work?”

“Yes,” I replied, and then gave my standard elevator speech. “I run my own business tutoring high school kids in Spanish.”

And then this man said something to me that no other person has ever said, in the entire seven years that I’ve been doing this. It was only one word, but it was dripping with disbelief, incomprehension, and disgust: “Why?!”

3. Why I Am Ten Kinds Of Awesome, And Quite Possibly Deserve Some Sort Of Medal

Because I heroically resisted the temptation to answer, “Well, gee, I don’t know? Why did you decide to specialize in being an asshole?“