Dear irritating little man in front of me at the drug store, holding up a line of 8 people waiting to check out because, BY GOD, you were not leaving that store without your inalienable AARP right to $0.03 off of a $2.00 can of mixed nuts:

When you turned to the rest of us and pretended to be sorry for holding us up, as you caught my gaze, the young woman in line behind you who was obviously in agonizing pain, and who was there to purchase a cane, did your entire life flash in front of your eyes? Because it did for me.

I hope you go back to that store and thank the lady at the photo counter for opening up a second check-out line. She is the sole reason that you continue to be alive today.