“I reject your reality and substitute my own.”
-Adam Savage, Mythbuster
The Best Thing I Heard This Weekend
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
“Hi, I’m Mike. Please don’t trample me.”
-Mike Rowe, of “Dirty Jobs”, to a mule named Pat.
The Best Thing I Heard This Weekend
Secrets
A couple of days ago my husband and I were sitting on the couch catching up on this week’s episode of NCIS. The Director of NCIS, played by Lauren Holly, was talking to Special Agent Gibbs, played by Mark Harmon, about a case they were working on involving a man who was engaged to multiple women at the same time. She was talking about how even if you are in a relationship with someone, you may not really know them. They might be keeping secrets from you.
“I don’t have any secrets from you,” I told my husband.
“I know!” he replied. Due to some quirk in my own personal makeup, I can neither lie nor keep secrets. It’s like any kind of secret information is a foreign body in my system, and I must vomit it up and out as soon as possible in order to keep my system running smoothly.
“What about you?” I asked him. “Do you have any secrets?”
“Nope,” he said, and we went back to watching the show.
In the next scene Dr. “Ducky” Mallard is talking to Agent Gibbs about the corpse he is examining. “I got a hunch and I decided to trim his (the corpse’s) nose hair,” said Dr. Mallard.
At this my husband pauses the show (all hail the awesomeness of TIVO!), leaps up off the couch, and says, “Oh yeah, I do have a secret from you.”*
Oh, dear sweet Lord In Heaven, I thought to myself, completely panicked. What the hell kind of secret does “nose hair” remind you of?!
“Um, that’s okay, dude,” I said, backing away from him. “You can just go ahead and keep that particular secret to yourself.”
*It turned out all right, though. For some reason I still don’t completely understand, that just reminded him that he’d brought me back a present from Mexico.
Can This Day Get Any Better?
I recently installed this new program called Hit Tail on my blog, a new search tool to help you identify keywords people use to find you and your website.
So I checked it today, and guess what I found? One of the ways that people are finding me is by entering the phrase “ostrich vomit” into their search engines.
How cool is that?!
I can only assume that this is due to the many posts where I profess my extreme love for Mike Rowe and “Dirty Jobs”. At least, I certainly hope that is the case. Otherwise, I may have some issues I need to look into.
Karma
After all the posts I’ve written on tub poo, my love of the word “ass”, and other things hiney-related, it really should not have come as such a surprise when my husband informed me that on the episode of “Dirty Jobs” where Mike had to clean out a hippo aquarium, one of the hippos was named Jenny.
Of course.
The Best Thing I Heard This Weekend…
…came from my new best TV friend, Mike Rowe, of “Dirty Jobs”.
In this particular episode he was visiting a cave that was home to 40 million bats. Apparently the bats do everything while flying in the air, including giving birth.
And so, as he said, “Anytime a placenta hits you on the head, you’re in a dirty place.”
So true, Mike, so true.
My New Dirty Pleasure
Recently my husband has gotten me to watch this show on the Discovery Channel called “Dirty Jobs”. And on this show the host, Mike Rowe, travels around the country performing Really. Dirty. Jobs.
Some of them are not too bad (relatively speaking), like scraping gum off of city sidewalks or chipping dried cement off the inside of a cement mixer.
Some of them are awesomely funny, like when he has to try and herd ostriches.
Some of them are so disgusting that I cannot eat for hours afterward. (Although in comparison, having a cat who occasionally goes to the bathroom in my tub isn’t really so bad.)
But the best thing about this show is how it helps me keep everything in perspective, something my dad always encouraged me to do when I was growing up.
So I think I had a bad day, huh? Well, did I have to collect boar semen? Or do anything involving hot tar? No? Well, then I’m probably doing just fine.
