Right Here, Right Now

as you are.’ says the universe.
‘after…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘before…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘when…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘how…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘why…’ you answer.
‘because
you are happening now.
right now.
right at this moment
and
your happening
is beautiful.
the thing that both keeps me
alive
and
brings me to my knees.
you don’t even know how
breathtaking you
are.
as you are.’ says the universe
through tears.

–as you are | you are the prayer

by Nayyirah Waheed

Sometimes I get really stuck in my head, and tell myself that I can’t post anything here until I’ve crafted a beautiful, literary masterpiece (whatever that even means), which, as you can imagine, sort of stifles the creative flow and the joy I find in writing.

So when this poem arrived in my inbox, I decided to use it as a sign to just take the plunge and share a few messy, unpolished glimpses of what’s been going on around here lately.

-Right now my pain is so high that I’m having trouble catching my breath, and I’m feeling so overwhelmed by having to manage my illnesses, and all the housework that needs to be done, and all the To Do items that are not being done that all I want to do is hide under the bed and cry.

-Right now I’m working through the book, The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up. So some places around the house look like this:

But most of the house still looks like this:

-Right now I have gotten one email inbox completely cleaned out-WOO HOO!

But this is my Inbox Of Doom that I can’t even look at without starting to hyperventilate:

-Right now I am filling out Leonie Dawson’s yearly planner, which I love and look forward to every year:

And this is me trying to figure out how to actually take action on my plans. I feel like I just keep shifting stacks of paper around and making the same lists over and over again: