And This Is Why God Sent Me Lynne

One

Lynne: “So, how have you been?”

Me: “Well, I almost emailed you to ask you if 5 days was too long to take to recover from two months of excruciating pain.”

Lynne: snorting and choking on her drink

Me: “But then I heard your voice in my head, so I didn’t”

Lynne: “And did you hear the cackling laughter?”

Me: “I did.”

Lynne: “Good.”

Two

Lynne: “So how are you doing?”

Me: “Pretty good. The pain’s not really that bad. I’ve only had to take two or three Ultram today.”

Lynne: “Really?”

Me: “Hm. I guess maybe the pain is that bad.”

Lynne: “Maybe so. Remember that you have that new prescription.”

Me: “Oh yeah.”

Lynne: “So have you filled it yet?”

Me. “No. I think about it, and I’ve come close a couple of times. But I haven’t done it.”

Lynne: “Well call your husband right now and ask him to fill it for you so that next time you can COME CLOSE TO TAKING IT!”