How does one handle work, home and family (or a combination thereof) without having a nervous breakdown?
I had to sit with this question for a couple of days, and then I ended up going back to my first, knee-jerk response which was, “I don’t.”
I have a very all-or-nothing personality, which was summed up perfectly once by a comment that my coach made to me.
“Jenny,” she said to me, “you do not have a dimmer switch. It’s like you’ll be sitting in a house, in the dark, with all the lights off. And then all of a sudden you’ll look around, notice that you’re in the dark, say, ‘Why the f*&# am I in the dark?!’, and then get up and flip on every single light in the entire house. So you’re either completely in the dark, or sitting there with all your lights ablaze. There’s no dimmer switch for you.”
That is so true. So to answer this question I will say that I don’t try to balance things, really. I’ll go all out on whatever catches my attention for a while-my blog, the house, Spanish lesson plans, etc. Then I’ll suddenly notice something else that isn’t getting done, drop whatever I’m working on, and focus on the new area full-throttle. I think the key for me is that I know this about myself, and I don’t judge it (so much :P) anymore.
Something else that’s helped me is a new definition of balance that I learned from Peter Reding and Marcia Collins, founders of Coach For Life (the training program I went through to become a Certified Life Coach.) They said to imagine that you are standing on one leg, with the other leg lifted off the ground. You are balancing while you do that, obviously, but that balance is not a static, once-for-all, never-changing thing. It is constantly being adjusted, even if just in small ways, by your body. It’s organic, and flowing, and changes as it needs to. So that is the view I take of balance now.
The final thing that helps me is that I also have a very highly developed inner drama queen, as well as a great sense of humor. So when I do get completely frazzled I re-align myself by making up a highly entertaining, and completely improbably story about what’s going to happen to me (“…and I’m going to end up living on the street in a box, and then die all alone.”) Then I laugh at myself, and am able to get back to a place where I can better deal with my life. So, no matter what, I’m never bored.
Read more responses here.
At least you have a sense of humor about things, it makes life so much easier and pleasant. I do the whole, “..i’m going to end up on a street corner, with a cardboard sign and a brokedown guitar (even though I don’t know how to play)” thing often, which amuses me too.
Pretty easily actually.
Great blog!
Oh Jenny, my kindred spirit… I am the same! I am one way or the complete opposite. I have this problem where I am pretty much a very nice person, but if you piss me off watch out! I have gotten into a frenzy, nearly foaming at the mouth at the rudeness of strangers… to which my husband runs in the opposite direction, lol. I think I kind of embarrass him.
I love that you can talk ourself out of it by being silly and outrageous! I can be ridiculously morbid when I am in those types of moods, and then my husband laughs at my antics… pretty soon I am laughing too. Great point though. I think those people who say that they are never rattled are full of it. IMHO. ;O)
Hi there Jenny~
I liked this question…and thought how much I miss being crazy and out of balance with my kids, working and family and friends and house and…..etc.
My boys are off now on their own adventures so there is not much to balance…work…love it…hunny…love him….house…when I feel like it:)…grocery store…uhhhh when the peanut butter runs out…gardening…when I want…gym…as often as I can get myself there…friends…when they can get away…
I do miss the contrast though:)
Have a great day!
I hadn’t really considered this, but I’m kind of an all or nothing type person too. I’m working on that balance, but I can never seem to adjust the right amount in the right direction.
That was my initial reaction too; however I must cope because I don’t often go into meltdown. When I do they are pretty spectacular.
As always, enjoyed reading.