Cranky Fibro Girl

Harnessing the healing power of snark

Thursday Thirteen #4: 13 Funny Things Politicians Have Said

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Thirteen Things about Jenny Ryan

1. “I think we can agree. The past is over.”-George W. Bush

2. “A zebra cannot change its spots.” -Al Gore

3. “It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” -Dan Quayle

4. “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” -Bill Clinton

5. “There is a mandate to impose a voluntary return to traditional values.” -Ronald Reagan

6. “I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.” -J. Edgar Hoover

7. “I’m running for president of the United States because I believe that-with strong leadership-America’s days will always lie ahead of us. Just as they lie ahead of us now.” -Bob Dole

8. “If I seem unduly clear to you, you must have misunderstood what I said.” -Alan Greenspan

9. “For seven and a half years I’ve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex…uh…setbacks.” -George H.W. Bush

10 “Democracy used to be a good thing, but now it has gotten into the wrong hands.” -Jesse Helms

11. “Capital punishment is our society’s recognition of the sanctity of human life.” -Orrin G. Hatch

12+. “What we have here is an egregemous miscarriagement of taxitude.”

“I’m providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised…”

“The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.”

“What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?”

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”

-Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, D.C.

From 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, ed. by Steven D. Price

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Comments

  2. Awesome list! So many things tcomment about here but since im short on time, i gotta tell you, the image of oral-genital contact blocking interstate commerce? Is that what happens when those ladies disappear into the semi trucks at the rest stops? Happy TT!

  3. Great quotes! Thank goodness they do have speech writers, I fear what they would say all on their own if allowed. Have a great Thursday.

  10. That is a great reading experience. I needed a god laugh. I hear NASA is planning an exploration mission. They are lauching a probe into Marion Barry’s head. They don’t expect to find any intelligence out there. Thanks for stopping by my T13.

  12. 8. “If I seem unduly clear to you, you must have misunderstood what I said.” -Alan Greenspan

    I’m going to use that the next time my daughter asks me for a Bratz doll.
    Thanks for visiting my TT. and for the good quote!

  16. “For seven and a half years I’ve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex…uh…setbacks.” -George H.W. Bush

    That is so funny.

    My t13 is up!

  17. I’ve got to share this list with my sister! She’ll get a hoot out of it! I can’t believe that they really all said these things! It’s surreal!

    Thanks for visiting my TT!

  19. What a great list! You may have been able to come up with 13 just with our current Bush alone! I have forgotten about Dan Quayle… thanks for including him!

  23. Well, at least it’s good to know that saying stupid things isn’t limited to our current president.

    One of my favorite examples:

    “My pro-life position is I believe there’s life. It’s not necessarily based in religion. I think there’s a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.”

    (Does that make ANY sense?)

  28. This was hysterically funny! I’ve gotta remember some of them!

    My TT is up! Thirteen steps in hosting a blog tour for my new novel, SAVING GRACE!

  32. It’s quite amazing how people say such silly things when they’re in front of so many people. This list just cracks me up. 🙂

    I’ve finally gotten around to putting mine up as well.

  35. I loved your list! I just didn’t understand the oral-genital thing? Is this something that I should know about? It sounds interesting.

    Happy Thursday to you!

  40. ROTFLMAO! Doesn’t matter if a politician is a Republican, Democrat, or a Libertarian, they all say some pretty crazy things 🙂

  41. I agree–goofiness apparently is not limited to any one party! I would hate to have everything I say in the public eye, though…it’s really easy to mis-speak. 🙂

    Visit my TT when you get a moment…

  43. This was so funny! I think I speak halfway decently but cannot begin to imagine being under such scrutiny as politicians are every day.

    Excellent idea for a 13. I shall try not to steal it! heheh

    Have a great weekend!

  45. These were a hoot, and I really needed a good laugh 🙂 I love how you threw in a little lagniappe (a little something extra!) 🙂

    Have a great day, and weekend!

  49. This is why speech writers make the big bucks. Politicians need words to say because things often go terribly wrong when they try to come up with them on their own. 😉

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